Whenever I was first approached with the possibility that my depression could be handled without medication, I was ecstatic. Like so many others I was put on antidepressants, and was about 5 months into the process when the clinic switched my doctor. (To which I was very happy, I didn’t particularly love my previous doctor)
This new doctor was new and different in every way. I came in expecting for him to up my dosage (due to the increase of feeling down and worthless over the last few weeks), and for me to continue on this route of treatment.
I was in for something completely different.
This man, this brilliant and amazing man sat me down and had a bit of a “come to Jesus” talk with me. This was my first moment, this was my “I can do this?” moment. I began the process of tapering off of my medication (which was terrible on every level possible) and I was released out into the world with a few pieces of advice.
1. Move your body. Slowly. Comfortably.
2. Drink tea, with good water
And off I went! Out into the dark and scary world.
I didn’t have much to go off of except I knew that this man believed in me, he was proud of me for what I had accomplished already (which seemed like close to nothing at the time) and now it’s my turn to see what works for me.
So I did what everyone in their 20’s does when they need information – I went to Google!
My story stretches much wider than a google search and a cup of green chai tea; but it’s where it began. It started a change in my life that even I didn’t see coming at the time. Just the smallest bit of hope from another human being that I didn’t have to live numbed out, unable to socialize, or without dependence of drugs sparked enough motivation for me to start to looking for other ways to help. To help myself.
And here I am today, putting my experiences out on the internet so that people that like me (like you!) can have that one person saying “Hey! It’s possible! Let’s do this!”
I believe in you, even if you don’t.
We as humans have no idea what we are capable of. Really, you have no clue what you can do. Chances are you haven’t even discovered your purpose on this planet yet! (if you have that is amazing!!) You are more than your thoughts, you are more than your feelings, and you are more than your experiences.
All it takes is a spark.
In the beginning, things are easy. We are free from worry, doubt and anxieties. We believe in fairy tales, Santa Claus, we think our parents are the greatest people on Earth. There’s a freedom to childhood, a sense of exploration and adventure. There is so much to do and see! It’s not until our later years that things go from being “around us” to being “a part of us”. Slowly, but surely, the innocence and the adventure begins to fade and the worries set in. Our egos are born, and everything changes.
Some are able to keep that adventure alive, able to prioritize their own needs and wants over what the world wants of them. Others, take a darker road. A road travelled by so so many before them. A road where the only signs and directions that are given, are those pointing right back at you, telling you that you will never make it.
This was the path for me, as for so many others. A path that is almost impossible at times, a path that is misunderstood by those who aren’t on it themselves. Some will tell us, “just keep going! All you have to do is push down the gas pedal!”. What they don’t understand is that the gas pedal is no where to be found, and when it is there, it’s completely out of reach. Some may say “just keep looking ahead, good things will come, it won’t be like this for long”. What they don’t understand is that everything is dark and foggy, and the only thing we see when looking out the window is our own reflection, proof that it’s our own fault that we haven’t made it as far as others.
This road, this trip of life is not easy. It’s degraded by those who don’t experience, it’s numbed out by medication prescribed by doctors and therapists that don’t know how to handle it otherwise (or don’t care to).
I am here to tell you, that there are other options. I am here to say that you can manage this lifestyle, that you can be who you want to be and make a life that you dream about. It is possible.
No scams, no get happy fast schemes. There is no cure all, there is no quick fix. There are subtle shifts that you can make in your life to help manage your thoughts and feelings. It cannot be “cured”, but it can be managed, and that’s what I’m here to do. To help get through those times where you feel like it’s impossible, to give even one person the ability to look at their thoughts and say “these are just thoughts, and I’m more than this”.
You may be saying “well who are you to give me advice on how to handle something you don’t understand”. No worries. I’m thinking the exact same thing as I type this out. Who am I? A person that has had a lifetime of struggles with both anxiety and depression. I am a person who has created a practice to help manage my thoughts and feelings. It’s not fool-proof, and there are ups and downs along with days where I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. But I have, and that’s why I’m typing this today.
It’s an option, and its possible. All you need is the willingness to try, the willingness to even think that it’s possible. You don’t have to believe it, just be willing, be open, and be ready for a change.
I’m here for you now, let’s see what we can do.